The Lady Rochford
by Paper Ballerina
Summary: Waiting to be pardoned from the block Jane Boleyn thinks upon her life. From the hopeful girl marrying the handsome and promising Boleyn to the betrayal,treason and gossip that led to her fall from grace. Heartbreak, obsession, ambition; This is her story
1. Jane Parker

_Jane Boleyn_

_13th February 1542_

_The Tower of London_

I can hear the crowds mumbling incessantly as they gather. It's like the bass of some morbid Danse Macabre. They have come to see a queen die today, to see another Howard girl lay her neck against the block and lose her life. I look out of my small window down towards the tower's green. The platform is only a few feet from my cell so I will see everything as if I am the executioner. Perhaps some already say I am, for leading that poor wanton little girl to the block to save myself. People have said that about me before and I escape that time too. I am a constant at court. I have served all of king Henry's queens, I have been there through all the heartaches. I have constantly survived and served. No matter what fate has thrown at me I have survived and I will survive this. Katherine will die for love and I will live without love. I know no one loves me. But it wasn't always so. I did have a heart that could love and it loved fiercely. I am a woman of passions. I look out the window to see them leading little Katherine towards the platform. She is weeping gentle but is otherwise queen like in attire and presence. Her lovely chestnut hair is pinned back under a plain bonnet and her neck is bare showing her soft pale skin and small neck. She is going to die because she loved the wrong man. She is only sixteen and in love and now she is marching to her death. I remember when I was seventeen and in love, and sedated by excitement and the tenderness of courtly love. Who could blame her? The English court is a lover's court. Made for romance and seducing its courtiers. I was every inch as pretty as she is and as madly in love as she is...

_Jane Parker_

_12th November 1524_

_Great Hallingbury manor _

I walked down the rolling snow coated fields in the cold morning air with a skip in my step. The bare trees were parted at either side of me, framing the fields' edges like an English hood around a lady's face as I giddily walk through with the hem of my satin dress soaked by the fresh snow and my feet frozen in my thin slippers. _No matter_, I thought with a careless shrug as I got closer to the edge of the field. Just a little further was the church of St Giles, standing proudly amongst the snow coated Hallingbury countryside. I felt an irrepressible smiled spread across my lovely face and felt the cold air hitting my bare teeth at the sight of the tall church just a short distance away. This sight, which was so familiar to me, should have held little excitement. I had attended this church countless times in all of my nineteen years, I was even baptised as a small babe here. Yet it is for none of these reasons why I was excited to see it. I cross the small graveyard and enter the little church, taking care to avoid the covered headstones and graves as they protruded out of the frozen ground. The church was a small pointed building made mostly of flint and limestone with a tall square bell tower besides its entrance. Inside it had a forty foot long nave and circular windows set deep into the old stone walls letting light into the dimly lit church. Inside there were a few villagers praying silently, perhaps for loved ones lost to the harsh winter or perhaps for the good of their souls. They kneeled with grim stony faces downcast to the floor like morbid statues of angels on headstones. I silently observe these miserable souls before looking towards the alter. I felt another smile creeping onto my face as I look at the small well lit platform, even when I look at the tall cross which Jesus is hanging from in pain I cannot help but smile. The reason I was so happy is that I was to be wedded here, not only wedded but wed to George Boleyn. THE George Boleyn. I felt my heart flutter at the mere thought of him. Of course we had known of each other for years. I had been one of Queen Catherine's ladies-in-waiting for the last four years and George had been a member of the court since boyhood. It was not until 1522 we would meet and I would never forget it.

+---*~&~*---+

It was at the masque of _Château Vert _at York palace_. _The masque was to impress Spanish ambassadors and it certainly did. After a good supper, Cardinal Wolsey (the king's most trusted servant) lead the ambassadors into a well lit chamber with hundreds of candles scattered around the room and vibrant and glorious tapestries covered the walls. In the centre of the room was a large foil green colored castle that sparkled like an emerald whenever any of the candlelight fell upon it. It was an impressive sight but that was merely the beginning for king Henry was eager to impress. The castle had three white satin towers which had three different flags depicturing broken hearts on one, a twisted heart on another and the last was a man's heart in a woman's hand. On queue the towers turned to face the ambassadors revealing themselves to be beautiful women instead of tall towers. I stood silently under the flag of a twisted heart looking towards the ambassadors with a small smirk. We stood all wearing white satin dresses and our hair incased in golden bejeweled cauls, only the prettiest girls were chosen and I was one of them. I was only seventeen at the time with long blonde hair and a pale beautiful oval face. We each had a role to play in this masque and were given a name sewed onto our dresses. I was cast as Constancy and I stood along with Honor (The countess of Devonshire) and Bounty (Mistress Brown). Besides our tower was the tower of broken hearts where Beauty (princess Mary, the king's sister), Mercy (Mistress Dannet) stood haughtily. And behind our tower was the tower of a man's heart in a woman's grip where Pity (Margate Duxdon), Kindness (Mary Carey) and Perseverance (Anne Boleyn) stood. It was not until years later I was laugh at how ironically fitting our roles suited our futures. We looked lovely and sweet as embodiments of the best of female attributes as we eagerly stood waiting to see what would happen next while the king's guests looked up at us approvingly. Bellow us seven of the older, yet still attractive, ladies of the court prowled along the battlements and guarded us like treasure. They portrayed the negative attributes such as Danger, Distain, Jealousy, Unkindness, Scorn, Malbouche and Strangeness. They were dressed in exotic Indian fashions of black damask as they guarded the towers looking like black cats prowling around a nest of pretty doves. Suddenly Master William Cornish ran towards the castle wearing a costume of scarlet followed by eight men of the court dressed brilliantly in golden satin and masked. We all knew the king was amongst them, for he never missed a masque adding more excitement at the prospect of meeting the king. The girls all giggled excitedly to see the men appear and promise to save them, even I giggled at the thought of the mock battle that would ensue but one of the men caught my attention. Gentleness. He stood waiting to raid the glittering green castle but looked determinedly at me. Only me. At first I looked away awkwardly but then looked back at him. He was close to my age with light brown hair cut fashionable to about the length of his chin. The soft hair curled slight towards the ends of his hair. He had a long face but it had two bright hazel eyes and a ready smile with boyish features. He was taller than me and was athletic with shapely legs and broad shoulders even though he was slight in comparison to the king. I gave Gentleness a small smile to reward him for his continued observation. Below me the ambassadors and the king's guests laughed as the guardians mocked the men before the men charged the battlements. The musicians began to play on upbeat song as the men climbed the castle in order to save the ladies. The guardians pelted them with fruits of pleasure as the men scrambled up into the castle. We screamed out of excitement and laughed as the men tumbled into the small castle. The whole invasion was just a flash of fabrics and fruit as the men came to our aid. When the men had all gotten into the castle the guardians fled and the men could rescue the trapped ladies. Before I could even see what was going on, Gentleness took my hand and led me down to the floor.

"My lady Constancy, I have saved you. Will you permit me a dance?" He asked my evenly. I smiled sweetly, feeling slightly breathless feeling the touch of his hand. It was soft as though he had hardly worked a day in his life.

"Of course, my lord "Was all I could say as he twirled me into line for a Volta. He gave my hand a small peck as we lined up then gave me a brilliant and winning smile. The perfect courtiers smile. The smile of a man who is as not a trouble in the world and would like nothing more than to dance with me. I smiled back at him excitedly as the dance began, feeling that my cheeks has become unbearably warm. Besides me Anne Boleyn, who is dancing with Nobleness, who I suspected to be Henry Percy, however I was hardly aware of her as Gentleness places his hand around my waist and I bite my lip to stop me giggling like a fool out of giddiness.

"You're very pretty, my lady Constancy. Tell me what is your name? For I think I have seen you here before" he asked as we turn in a small circle. I looked to the floor, brushing my cheeks with my long eyelashes as I thought of a response.

"I will tell you mine if you tell me yours, Gentleness "I said boldly, daring to look up at him. He was silent and for an instant I felt I had offended him greatly but then he burst out laughing merrily as if I have said something very funny. I smiled relieved by his response. We placed our hands together and walked in a small circle. He was looking directly at me without distraction and I found that I could barely look away from him either. He leaned forward towards me and I thought he was going to kiss me. I panicked yet waited for the touch of his lips in anticipation. He moved his lips to besides my ear. I admit I was disheartened by the fact the he did not kiss me but I did not show it.

"George Boleyn. And you my lady?" He breathed into my ear and I gave a small shudder as I felt his breath on my cheek and neck. At the time I thought the excitement of having an admirer and the masque was having a strange effect on me, little did I know it was the symptoms of desire. I looked towards the crowd and see my father talking to two men; the duke of Norfolk and the French ambassador Thomas Boleyn.

"My name is Jane Parker" I say with a small bow of my head before he picked me up by my slender waist and held me into the air. I felt light headed as he lowered me back down to the ground but as my feet touched the floor I turned to face him seeing his characteristic grin. As he passed me onto the next dance partner he called out to me.

"I'm very glad to meet you Jane!"

As the weeks and the years went on me and George grew even fonder of each other, Stealing glances over the dinner table, dancing whenever we could and going for walks in the garden whenever he wasn't with his little group of friends. The group was quickly becoming a rowdy boys only club with the most handsome and charming of the courtiers. It was a playful courtship and neither of us expected it to lead anywhere. We were like companions rather than lovers but there was no denying the attraction between us. We were two promisingly wealthy favourites of the king and queen and equally as charming and handsome as each other. But we were surrounded by beauty so appearance counted for little. King Henry commanded we all dressed our best always, always pleasing to the royal eye .He was a boy that had always been surrounded by beauty and as a king he commanded it. But I never dressed in my best for the king, I did it for George. I would do anything to see that sweet smile on his face. Over the years I became utterly smitten with him and I'm sure he was with me. I couldn't say the same for his sisters however. Mary was sweet and gentle but bored me to no end with her idle chat but nothing anything Mary could do would make me dislike her more than Anne. Anne was utterly unbearable. She strutted around the court in her French fashions and was always followed by a pack of unruly admirers sniffing at her like dogs. She was always the centre of attention and I begrudgingly tolerated it. She barely spoke to me at all, thank god, and when she did it was hollow small statements or questions and always in that French sounding accent. I hated that fake accent with a passion but I was always well mannered towards her. I would tolerate her if it meant I could see George, I would have done anything for George. It's funny looking back on it, how in love I was with him. Even though I was so besotted with George I knew that one day I would be married off and our fondness of each other would crumble away. I suppose he expected it too and perhaps that is why we did nothing more than flirt and make eyes at each other. We both knew we would marry for wealth like everyone else. But as I was to find out we were not going to be like everyone else for fate an ambition were going to change the direction of our lives in a way no one could have foreseen. Despite knowing that my destiny would drag me away from George I prayed for us to be wed everyday without fail. I prayed with a heavy heart knowing that my request seemed impossible. But as I would learn, nothing was impossible for the Boleyns.

On the twelfth of November 1524, my father requested I return home to Hallingbury. I suspected it would have to do with a marriage proposal so I returned with masked dread for I knew marriage was inescapable. I thought of my sister in-law little Grace. She was betrothed to my brother when she was only eight, and when her father died she had to come live with us so she could not escape her wifely duties once she turned twelve. I felt myself pale at the thought of lying under some old man as he groaned above me, then left to run his household as he went to court and had affairs with younger women and then dying in child birth to give him a son. This was the life of so many women but I couldn't imagine me doing it. The carriage carrying me home rocked as the strong winter wind hit against it, making me feel even better about being home. We reached my home then the weather reached it's worst when the wind hurled itself against the bricks of the manor and the snow fell like the bodies of the French at the battle of Agincourt. The manor was one levelled but was long and in an L shape around a small courtyard with a pond. The manor was deeply nestled in the Essex country side near the small parish of St Giles and with vast gardens and mazes. I went into my childhood home with an expected disappointment, closing the door to my childhood, my happiness and to the cold winter night.

The next morning my fathered welcomed me into the grand hall and delivered the news. I was indeed to marry, just as I had feared. I nodded and waited the news of my bridegroom. My father assured me that the match was good and I was marrying the sole heir to a wealth father's fortune. This did little to assure my fears of marrying a repulsive and old man. But then he said it, he said the name of my bride groom. At first I thought I missed heard him, that my imagination and desperate wish had clouded my ears. But then he said it again. George Boleyn. I was stunned into silence but then nodded demurely. He explained we would be married here at the neighbouring church St Giles and in only two days. He excused me to reflect on this decision thinking I would be sad and I left agreeing to the match. As soon as I was out of the room, I ran towards the church.

+---*~&~*---+

And so I stood looking at the altar while thinking that in only two days I would marry my beloved before god and some of the most respected people in all the kingdom. I had hoped for this for two years and now it was to come true. It would mean I would see more of Anne, but I was certain I could endure seeing Anne if it meant I was George's wife. I would respect their closeness because I would be mother to his children. The thought of lying in bed with him made my blush insanely not just because I was in the house of god but because I had not dared think such things before. But now I was to be his wife I could finally show everyone how much I loved him without being hurt. In two days time our fairytale would come true and we would live happily ever after together. And why not? We were young, beautiful and attended the most lavish and celebrated court in Christendom what on earth could spoil our happiness?

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_AN: I did try to be as historically accurate as possible with only small liberties taken. The chapter is a bit thin on characterisation and plot but this chapter serves only as the foundation and introduction into the story. Future chapters will be longer and more in-depth. Please if you read, please review it is most helpful. _


	2. To have and to hold

_Jane Boleyn _

_14th November 1524_

_St Giles Church_

My happily ever after was to begin today. I was to marry the pretty George Boleyn, the heir to the Boleyn inheritance in the little church just a two fields away from my childhood home. It was like a fairy tale; for since I was a little girl I had dreamed I would get married in that little church where I would play and pray over the years. I was dressed in white satin with my golden hair loose and cascading down my back with a wreath of flowers on my head. The little church glowed with amber light pouring out from within its old stony walls in the grey morning sky as I made my way up to my wedding. I knew that inside was my new family and some of the most important men in all the kingdom, all together to see me and the handsome George married before god. They would be witness to this great romance. In years to come they would speak of this moment and it would be remembered for centuries. I entered the church with my father at my side and my bride's maids behind me. My maids would keep the devil at bay as my father would hand me over to my bridegroom, who would protect me for life. I as I made my way along the aisle I could see some of my new family. Thomas Howard, the new duke of Norfolk looked in my direction with a calculating gaze, no doubt assessing my worth and child baring possibilities. His beautiful but old wife simply gave me a sadden smile, perhaps she thought of her happy wedding day that turned into a nightmare and thought I was to share the same fate. At the time I could have laughed at the thought of George taking a mistress and never loving me. I was certain George loved me as much as I loved him and the thought of him being unfaithful was impossible in my mind. I turned my gaze onto a happier woman; Elizabeth Boleyn. I thought I could relate to her the most. She, like me, married for love. She gave me an approving nod as she welled up with pride at the thought of her son making a good match. Besides her was Anne looking her best, probably to out shine me. I gave her a haughty look as I passed, for once all the attention was on me and not her. In the pew before them was Mary Boleyn and her handsome and successful husband William Carey, looking at me encouragingly. Even though their marriage had been arranged, they were good companions to each other and everyone expected them to love each other in time. I looked away from the small sea of faces and towards the alter. George stood there wearing white satin too besides his father. Thomas Boleyn was whispering sternly in George's ear as if telling him off for misbehaving before looking at me and then warningly back to George. George stifled a laugh before going onto his knees besides me and before the priest. I sat on my knees to his left, to be reminded that woman came from the left rib of Adam. The thought was somewhat distressing on my wedding day. Eve, fooled by the snake condemned herself and Adam to banishment for happiness. I certainly did not see myself being fooled into doing a snake's bidding nor would I want to cause George any distress. I ignored the story of Eve, this was my glorious wedding day and it would not be spoiled by reminders of deeds done centuries ago.

"Do you George Boleyn; take Jane Parker to be thy wedded wife. To honour and to love her, to keep her and guard her, in sickness and in health. Forsaking all others till death do you part?" The priest finally asked George, after what I felt was a tiresome and painful (on my knees) ceremony. I gave a sideways glance at George as he was to answer.

"Well I don't know about forsaking all others" George said cheekily to the priest before getting a quick slap across the back of his head from his father. Despite his father's obvious objections to the comment the rest of us laughed at George's jest. I even laughed. With a sigh George uttered the words "I do" before turning to giving his father a scornful look. I smiled at my playful young bridegroom before looking up at the priest.

"Do you Jane Parker; Take George Boleyn to be thy wedded husband. To honour him and to love him, to obey and serve him, in sickness and in health. To be bonny and buxom in bed and at board and Forsaking all others Till death do you part?" He asked me with a smiled still lingering on his face from George's jest. I looked up at him with tears of joy gathering in my eyes.

"I do" I said softly as I felt my heart beat so fast I thought I was going to faint. The priest's smile increased as he looked from me to the church full of nobility and wealthy men. Our rings were exchanged, placed on the fourth finger of our left hands. That was where the vein leading straight to the heart is.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride" was all I heard the priest say after the rings were exchanged and I was looking into George's bright hazel eyes. George leaned down towards me a gave me a small sweet kiss before four clerks held a canopy over our heads as we prayed silently, protecting and blessing our union. Before we were free to enjoy the festivities of our wedding the priest gave me a few words of wisdom about how my wifely conduct should be. He said that I should be; faithful and chaste, amiable to my husband, wise, bashful, grave, reverential, modest and fruitful. I nodded my head as I listened; I wanted to be a good wife. He did not give George any advice on how he should behave and I, in my naivety, thought it was because George showed good promise and did not need advice. With that, me and George walked out of the church as husband and wife proudly showing our wedding bands as we walked across the virgin snow towards my home with our guests trailing behind us. We made our way back to my family's little home which to many must have looked like a stable not a home. In hind sight I suppose it was a lowly for a lord to live in, it looked more like a farmer's home than a lord's. Regardless everyone was welcomed into our main hall which was lavishly decorated and in my opinion fit for a king. They had a great banquet table in a "u" shape and space for dancing and entertainment. Candles blazed needlessly lighting the room like a dream. It was nothing compared to my marital glow, if I was glowing as much as how happy I was I must have been like a second sun. Myself and George were seated side by side at the centre table with our parents at our sides, overlooking the entire hall. We were like the king and queen of the day.

We feasted gluttonously as the servants ran themselves silly in order to serve all our guests. Music played constantly as the guests danced and eat and toasted to the union between the Parkers and the Boleyns. Although everyone was merry I did notice George barely spoke to me, but at the time I assumed he must be nervous for the wedding night. I was nervous but excited though I wouldn't admit to that in case anyone thought me wanton. Instead of talking to me, he spoke to Anne. This irritated me, for I was beginning to see that he would always favour her over me. Still, I was his wife and I would be able to offer him things she could not. I could lay with him, if she did that it would be a sin against nature. In my mind it was a small victory knowing that Anne could never have George as much as I would. He was mine in body and soul, the only claim she had to him was that they shared the same blood. We sat at the middle of the "U" shaped table over looking everyone. I sat besides George with my father and mother to my left and George with his parents at his right, with the bridal cake in front of us. Anne had crept over here to whisper in George's ear without permission and with total disregard of the rules. I felt a sudden surge of power and could not resist indulging it.

"Sister Anne" I said clearly and without shame of calling her sister. Anne gave me an uncertain glance with her dark eyes, as if confused as to why I dare interrupt her and George. Even George stared questioningly at me.

"Sister Jane" she said without a trace of a French accent before bowing her head respectfully. My father and her father remarked about how sweet calling each other "sister" was and how it was a good sign. I forced a smile.

"What are you doing up here?" I ask her evenly. She gave me a hard look that read as: _what do you think I'm doing_. I ignored it and look at her expectantly with a smile on my face.

"I am talking to my brother, _Sister_ Jane. I have not seen him in a long while." She said honestly but resentfully to me before turning back to him. I smile at the answer before replying.

"Well it is my wedding day. You may speak to your brother but not today or would you like me to converse lengthily to your husband when you finally get one?" I said venomously with a sweet smile. Anne's head shot up as if my harsh words wound her like a bee string but then laughed and smiled as if it was a great jest, but in her eyes I saw the anger and bitterness I had inspired. She moved slightly away from George but kept her dark eyes fixed on me.

"When I get one" she repeated with a laugh that was as sweet and pure as the tinkling of bells. "Well let us hope I am not as old as you when I get one" she said with a pleasant smile to mask the hurtful undertones. She patted George on the shoulder playfully "or a husband as much of a handful as George is" she laughed before everyone close by joined in. She walked away without giving me a second glance; she had outwitted me and made a fool out of me once again. The encounter left me seething with envy and rage but they mellowed when I was reminded this was my wedding day and that she could not have him. Even when Anne had flounced off and was dancing with some noble I did not have any attention from George. He was my husband yet was not tentative in any way. Instead of getting attention from my husband and beloved of two years I sat and watched his sister. Anne smiled and danced well and was charming and endearing and an odd kind of beauty, there was no end of praise for Anne. Everyone loved Anne. How would I ever compete with such talented woman for my husband's affection?

I took George's hand and held it to my lips; I wanted him to see I was adoring of him and sweet in temperament. He turned away from his father and looked at me with surprise but not lust. I smiled up at him before kissing his hand.

"You've made me very happy. Are you happy my beloved?" I asked him sweetly. He gave me a small smile and kissed my forehead before turning back to his father. I felt hurt but let it go, it must have been because he was nervous, I reasoned with myself. But he did not have long to wait for us to be alone together. The closer it came to nightfall the more nervous I felt. What if I disappoint him in the bedroom? Would he reject me? Would he fall out of love with me? What if I repulsed him? The more I thought about it the more nervous I became. I looked over and saw Mary with her husband. She sat there like a ray of light in the darkness and I called her over at once. If I could not make Anne love me I would make Mary love me. She excused herself from her husband and walked dutifully towards me as I walked away from George and towards a quiet corner. She stood before me with a smile and a kind face waiting to see what I wanted. I was shocked to see that Mary was the prettiest of the Boleyns with a small pretty face and slender figure. Anne may be able to seduce men with her looks but Mary would coyly and subtlety win them over.

"Yes, Lady Jane?" She asked once she was before me. I gave her a small nervous smile, for I was embarrassed. This woman who I had hardly ever spoken to, this woman that was the French king's whore, would be the one who would advise me in all her whorish ways.

"Lady Mary" I said feeling all my confidence shrivel away like a piece of paper in a fire. She continued to look about me as I was suddenly rendered mute. But I snapped out of it. "I am nervous for my wedding night. Do you have any advice for me?" I finally say boldly. Mary was taken aback by my boldness before laughing in sympathy. She held my hands, trying to comfort me.

"It will hurt the first few times. But endure, it gets better I assure you." Mary said, standing there holding my hands acting like a mother towards me .I appreciated it; you wouldn't see Anne being this way to me. I got a good chance to look at this woman. She was fair and pretty, she would be desirable to any man that forgot she was a whore and married .Even then most weren't replied.

"No. I mean do you have any advice for me in my wedding bed?" I asked meekly. I could not feel embarrassed or ashamed; I would have done anything to please George. She smiled kindly and whispered into my ear as we stood in the corner gossiping and giggling like two ladies in waiting behind the queen's back.

+---*~&~*---+

And then it was time. We were put to bed by the priest, our garters were removed and our bed blessed. We were stripped down to our chemises before the priest and our families. I felt embarrassed by all the eyes on my body as the candle light showed my silhouette through the thin fabric. George seemed oblivious to any sort of embarrassment and looked at me directly with desire. I smiled at him, feeling more confident after me and Mary's conversation. She had given me some very helpful tips and I felt prepared with what was to come. The priest finished his blessing and we were ushered into our marital bed. I looked out from the tall oak bed frame as the candles were blown out and our families departed leaving as together alone in the dark. Then there was a silence as we lay besides each other in the dark not even daring to touch. But I could not help it anymore as I rolled over besides George and kissed him on the lips. It was a moment before he reciprocated the kiss with a sudden force as he pressed his lips against mine. I placed my hand on his chest, feeling the warmth of his skin from under his chemise. But then he suddenly pushed me back and then pinning me against the mattress as he pushed me chemise up. This was not quite the romantic love making I had fantasized about for the last two years. He took me roughly as though I was some lowly Smithfield whore before turning away and going to sleep once it was over. I lay back on the mattress willing myself not to cry. My intimate parts ache and burn and I could feel a little bit of warm blood running down my legs as I lay shivering besides him. He did not embrace me or tell me how wonderful I was nor did he cry out my name as we made love. It was as though he did not care for me at all. But that was impossible, I wouldn't even let that thought cross my mind. George did love me or at least that is what I thought. Even when he had discarded me on our wedding night I steadfastly beloved he loved me. Why would he marry me if he did not love me? He must have, he must have loved me. But as I was soon to realise there was never love without ambition in the English court.

_AN: thank you to __Lady Eleanor Boleyn__ and Lady J for the kind reviews. _

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	3. Gone

_Jane Boleyn_

_15__th__ November 1524_

_Great Hallingbury manor_

I started to stir early on our first morning together. I was eager to enjoy the first day of my perfect marriage with my handsome and wonderful husband. Without opening my eyelids, I gently reached across to touch the bare skin of my husband as he lay sleeping beside me. Despite the throbbing pains in my privy parts, I had slept soundly and dreamed pleasantly and longed to feel his skin against mine. Perhaps I had dreamt too pleasantly, for I need to feel the warmth of his smooth handsome skin to believe that our marriage had not been some wonderful and glorious fading dream. As my small hand slithered across the rumpled sheets of our marital bed, the sheets grew increasingly more rumpled and cold. My brow furrowed in confusion and my eyes reluctantly opened. I turned to where my beloved George should have been only to face an empty bed. I did not think at all, I merely stared dumbly at the empty space and spread my hand across where his body had been. I did not let any thoughts enter my head and merely sat in silence as feeling of disappointment overwhelmed me. It was as though I could not _understand _that he was not there. I couldn't understand it and I didn't try to. I simply and quietly got up and called for my servant to help me dress. She came to help me quickly, as if hurried and aided me to dress. She took off my night shaft and left me to stand naked as a babe as she chatted incessantly about what being a wife entailed. Although the constant murmur of her chatter was pleasant it did nothing to cheer my mood. I felt vulnerable standing there naked in the cold winter air, but even more so I felt _alone_. That terrible and consuming little emotion that evokes such self pity and loneliness it could bring you to your knees. I hadn't felt such sad loneliness in my life until then but it wasn't the loneliness itself where soured my mood; It was the doubt. His absence had put the seed of doubt in my mind. _Perhaps he is using the piss pot? Or ordering servants? Or breaking his fast? _I reasoned weakly with myself, trying to combat the raising problem of doubt.

I stood silently battling with myself as the servant woman dressed me. First came the necessary and plain undergarments and skirts that hung limply from my small hips before the plain tough stomacher. She placed it over my bust and started to pull the laces when I cleared my throat.

'Pull it very tightly, Isabel' I said evenly, not daring to show my inner turmoil. She sighed and did as I commanded without argument. She had argued with me before and had faced my short temper. She knew better now. I stood and braced myself for the sharp tugs as she with pull the laces until they were taught. Yet I still felt a cold indifference, barely even feeling the pressure mount against my ribs. 'Fetch me a dress, Isabel, something modest.' I said once I felt she had tied the tight lace into a bow. She hesitated and then spoke which irked me more and surprised me.

'No my lady, the lady Boleyn has insisted that you were the pebble grey satin dress with the trumpet sleeves and black hood, my lady. 'The servant Isabel said timidity. I sighed with frustration and humiliation and confusion, but if my new mother-in-law bade me to do it, then I must.

'Very well then, Isabel. Fetch the grey dress and jewels to match.'

* * *

I made my way to the great hall of my family home, dressed in finer clothes then I had worn on my wedding day and with my hair tied under an English hood. No longer would my golden locks follow, instead they were pinned beneath a hood my husband had bought. I turned a corner to see that my mother-in-law sat patiently at the table with Anne. Anne looked up at me with an unimpressed bored gaze, her dark locks cascading over her stiff bony shoulders. I smiled, feeling my wedding ring upon my finger and my hair pinned behind a hood. I was married and she was not. I marched up to the table with my head held high before giving my new mother-in-law a deep bow. She smiled and greeted me.

'Ah, daughter Jane, Come sit and break your fast.' She said gesturing me to sit across from her and dull Anne. I smiled, confused as to why she would want me to dress so grandly but mutely obeyed. Before me lay a cooling bowl of soup and a handful of bread which I started to nibble at when she inclined her head and granted me permission to eat. 'You need your strength for the ride to court'

'Ride to court, lady mother?' I asked. The name felt strange and awkward to my mouth like a foreign word. But what confused me more was it was custom for a new bride to live with her mother-in-law for three months, yet I was being sent to court. Elizabeth Boleyn smiled at my confusion, but it was a kind smile. Her face, once very pretty was now aged and lined with wrinkles like a roll of silk. It was certainly a comfort in comparison to Anne's unwelcoming poker face.

'Yes, daughter, you are summoned back to court to serve Queen Katherine. We haven't much time to waste; The Boleyns have already ridden back to court. You are expected at court too. '

'George is there?' I asked hopefully. If he was at court that meant he had to leave me, but not by choice. I felt my heart flutter and a smile waiting to play on my relieved face. Elizabeth nodded.

'You'll be joining him at court. He is now one of the privy chamber, one of the king's favourites.' Elizabeth said proudly as I let the smile spread across my face, I couldn't contain it. My one beloved, a favourite of the king! It was such an achievement. I felt my face glow with happiness, all of my doubts and sadness fading instantly. Of course he loved me and had to leave me to serve the king and it was paying off. I would return to court a married woman, married to the most handsome and talented and favoured man in all of the court! I could have danced with happiness. But little did I know that this was merely the beginning of the king's favour the Boleyns were about to be bestowed. For the surest way to the king's heart was with Kindness.

* * *

An: Thank you all for the reviews and sorry the update took so long. But We all know things are about to get a lot more interesting as Jane returns to a changing court. Thanks to : Laura Scofield, Lady Eleanor Boleyn and sassygirl93 for the reviews and once again sorry for the wait.


	4. Which one of you is Mary Boleyn?

I hastily and clumsily clad my shivering hands in my black velvet gloves, the thick raven fabric enveloped my glimmer wedding band like the dark ominous waves of the sea at night, hiding all traces that it was there at all. I pouted and considered placing the ring over the glove, But reasoned that it was just folly to do so. Instead, to occupy my hands and to distract myself, I pulled up the hood of my travelling cloak and stepped out into the courtyard. I was eager to impress my new mother-in-law with my punctuality and obedience but I was also eager to return to the wonders of court and to return to my husband George's side. Was he telling his comrades and the Privy Council about me? About my virtues and my immodest naked beauty? Was he thanking god for such a dutiful and loyal companion who looked on him with perfect love and adoration? I hoped so, yet still felt the breathless feeling of uncertainty.

In the courtyard there was a single wooden wagon with boxes of my belongings and clothing and other boxes pilled on. I paused for a moment , wondering how I would comfortably fit on the wagon when Anne rode out of the stables on an ash coloured stead, flashing me a charming smile that I read as haughty. I felt my cheeks redden, I felt so foolish, more so that it was Anne that had outsmarted me again. We stood, inspecting each other, still at a lose how to regard each other. She was uncertain and cautious of me and I was maddeningly irritated by her. Despite my secret embarrassment, I noticed that she was finely dress, too finely dressed to merely be returning home to Hever. She was dressed in a fashionable sapphire satin riding habit, with pearls and her iconic choker draped around her slender neck. She dressed even better then myself. I craned my neck around her in all her over dramatic glory and her stead to see a young stable boy bringing me my amicable old chestnut mare. The poor beast was slight and sickly compared to Anne's bulky hunting stead, yet I proudly let myself be helped up onto her. I crossed my legs to one side of the mare's barrel like body, and held onto the worn and cracked leather reins giving Anne an agreeable smile. As a veteran of the court already I knew the importance of appearances. As much as I found myself jilted and annoyed by Anne, It would do no good to show it. It would show fractions in the Boleyn clan and would damage any advancement we would make. Now that I was married, I had to think of the possibilities of my future children. It would be petty and very foolish to publically dislike my own sister-in-law even if she was most un agreeable. As we sat in strained silence, smiling pleasantly (and forcibly) Elizabeth Boleyn walked out towards us as my escorts hauled themselves onto their saddles. She looked at us with a warm smile. I felt a self satisfied smile grow across my cold face. I knew she was going to tell Anne to return to Hever and me to return to court.

' Anne, Jane. Our servants will escort you both back to Whitehall and back into the queen's service. The journey, they have assured me, is not long and the weather should stay fair. Send my love to Mary and George and my husband.' She said evenly, placing a kiss on Anne's gloved hand and then to mine. I felt my face fall as her lips parted and said such things. So Anne was to come back to court. I smiled at Elizabeth's gesture but it was a shallow smile at that. I knew Anne should not be able to out shine me, I had been married and now was one of the elite of the ladies-in-waiting. Yet I could not help feeling a wave of dread crash over me. It was Anne after all.

'Do not worry Mother; I will make sure your messages are delivered.' Anne said sunnily as she lightly tapped her stead to move into a slow canter, gesturing for the escorts and the wagon to follow. She waved over her shoulder at her mother, smiling as she did so before taking off, leaving me paces behind her and the servants. I sighed, tapping my horse onwards. I knew that the entire journey would play out much the same ; with Anne trying to get away from me as much as politely possible.

* * *

Luckily the journey was little over two hours, yet we only spoke in a few stilled awkward conversations. I was thankful for the silence though, since almost all the conversations would lead onto another one of Anne's talents or accomplishments making me cringe at how uneducated and dull I was in comparison. I reasoned that this was because Anne was overly talented and educated, and no one wants a wife who is cleverer than they are. In my bitterness I was certain that her talents and charms would be her downfall, that she would never have a husband. It was a satisfying and comforting thought. But for all Anne's gifts, she wasn't anything special to look at and at court that's all that mattered. Skinny and dark with long blackish brown curls, she was unconventional and not sought after. In fact it was only George and his companions that fused over and welcomed her to court. No one else seemed to notice at all. So, the little infamous group formed. They consisted of Anne and George (sometimes even Mary too), the charming poet Thomas Wyatt (whom would flirt constantly with Anne), the dashing Henry Norris, The cheeky Francis Weston and the handsome William Brereton. They would entertain themselves with their own music and poetry and philosophy and wit, excluding everyone else. When I was being courted by George it hurt me deeply they would not invite me to join them. Perhaps now that I was worthy enough for George to marry me, they would let me join their little group since I had none of my own. Everyone seemed to self important t court that they thought it below them to ask to be my friend leaving me quite alone. Still I could not thing such self pitying thoughts. I was young, married into a great and raising family and in the service to England's greatest queen. And now that I was married and one of her ladies, I would be allowed into the royal birthing chambers and would get to witness the birth of a prince, god be willing. Everything seemed to be going so well, even if I was constantly outshined by Anne.

* * *

Unlike Anne, Once we arrived at Court I knew my way towards the Queen's chambers and briskly walked there, ripping the gloves from my pale hands and showing my gold wedding ring glimmering in the bright candle light. I turned the corner, leaving Anne rushing to follow me, and entered into the Queen's chambers, dipping into a deep curtsey. The ladies were sitting around her feet, reading and sewing quietly (Mary, her favourite, sitting like a lapdog by her side). Sitting upright and regally in a huge and decorated oak throne beneath the gold canopy was the queen; Katherine of Aragon. She smiled warmly at my arrival (and Anne's arrival only a moment later) and inclined her head inviting us to sit. She was once the most beautiful girl in England, with auburn hair and tanned but fair skin. Even at thirty nine, she retained some of that beauty even if her frame was much more buxom and her skin was more flaccid. Yet we women ignored such imperfections as we were all too endeared by her warmth and kindness, other than Anne who cruelly pointed out the truth when the poor queen's back was turned.

'Jane, come here' She said, her accent with still stubbornly thick yet exotic even after all the years she had spent in England. I complied without hesitation but as I walked before the queen, Mary scurried across and seated herself next to Anne on the outskirts of the ladies. I felt a certain distain when I saw them whispering and laughing quietly out the corner of my eye, yet tried to ignore them imposing on my moment to shine. I stopped just before her and curtseyed again with a pleasant smile on my face. She was smiling to a she looked at my new headdress and ring.

'Congratulations on the news of your marriage. I hope Service to me will not keep you to separate from your husband and I hope the lord blesses you with many children.' She said warmly, extending her hand. I took it and place a kiss on it before curtseying again.

'Your majesty, I find it a pleasure beyond words serving you and as does my husband.' I said proudly, feeling that all the curious and suspicious eyes of the ladies were on me. So this is what it felt like to be the centre of attention. A warm feeling of absolute contentment and ease. I found it to be a most agreeable feeling, but my moment was interrupted by the opening of doors and a loud racket followed by a hearty laugh. Before I could do anything but turn to face the noise, the king himself and his companions burst into the room. In those days, when the king was still handsome, there was always a moment before you would curtsey. He was so handsome, so charismatic, so glorious, you would forget yourself and be caught in sheer wonderment at the sight of him before remembering to bow. On this occasion however, I felt exposed and terrified, curtseying quickly and moving back into the crowd. The giant king with his bright smile, strode across to kiss Katherine's hand on bended knee.

'Your majesty'

'Your majesty' She replied softly, blushing like a young foolish girl. I smiled at the scene, even after so many years together they were still in love. Even though George was only feet away I could not tear my eyes from the monarchs until the king stood up and looked towards me.

'So this must be your woman, eh, Boleyn?' The king said look to George who obediently agreed. 'She's bonnie enough. But is she enough to tame such a rouge as you George' I king said barely giving me a glance but instead making a joke to George. I would have felt insulted had it not been the king saying such things. Still I curtseyed again and smiled. The king looked towards his group of companions again, turning so I could catch a smell of his wonderful rich perfume. 'Didn't you marry one of the Boleyns, Carey? 'The king asked.

'Mary Boleyn, your majesty' he piped out, barely seen over the crowd of men that seemed to tower over him. The king turned around again, a sceptical look on his face as though he expected Mary to look no better then I.

'Well which one of you ladies is Mary Boleyn?' The king asked.

'I am your majesty.' Mary said quietly. The king, somehow, heard her faint call and walked towards where she and Anne stood. Anne looked up at him with a challenging glint in her dark eyes, while fair Mary looked down at the floor. The king lifted her Lilly coloured chin with his great bejewelled hand and was taken aback as Mary looked up at him. His face was so odd, he looked at her in such a way I have never seen a man look at a woman(or at least no man has looked at me like that before). His expression was surprised and tender just delighted. It took him a moment to recover from the effects of Mary's beauty before he cleared his throat.

'I have to congratulate you, Carey, on marrying such an image of loveliness.' He said evenly, yet never took his eyes from her face or his hand from her chin. The silence in the room grew, everyone was so uncertain how to respond or what to think. Was he being polite? Was he being sincere? What was Mary and the queen thinking? What was William thinking? I looked towards the king's companions. They seemed unsettled or had a roguish smile playing on their faces, yet one man did not. He stood with a calculating gaze, weighting the possibilities in such as gesture. His intense and clever gaze fascinated me until it was turned on me. I looked at the man and he looked at me until I understood what we were witnessing. The king had taken a fancy. Little did I know that the man who caught my glance would be the most important man in my life from that day onwards.


	5. Doubts

_16th November 1524_

_Whitehall Palace_

I begrudgingly but thoughtfully spent the night with the other ladies-in-waiting in their communal chamber. George, no doubt, would be unpacking his and my belongings and would need space and no distractions to have everything prepared for us the next day. I could suffer one mere night without him if it would help him, even though I ached for his comforting embrace. I had quite forgotten about my doubts and suspicions with all the glamour and distractions of court, but as soon as night fell, all my doubts came crawling back until I felt truly enveloped by uncertain and uneasy. I could not sleep however much I willed it. In my little cold cot in the quiet and the darkness, I lay on my side, twisting my wedding band as a reassurance and a comfort. It was there, I wasn't imagining it. George had loved me, he loved me enough to marry me, he loved me and this ring proved it. That little strap of gold around my thin little finger would cast away any doubts. I stopped twisting the ring and lay flat on my back, staring up at the ceiling searching for a distraction. But my thoughts quickly turned to George again. He was merely busy with the king's business, too busy to see his wife. That was why he was not here besides me, nor had granted me a welcome. That was the only reason. My dear thoughtful husband was only putting his career before his beloved wife, He was advancing his career so that I could be kept in comfort and never be found wanting. I felt somewhat reassured by this thought and decided to be satisfied with it. I would tell myself this was the case and perhaps I would start t believe it whole heartedly. I nodded in agreement with myself and decided that I should try to sleep before anymore doubts or unpleasant thoughts crept into my worried mind. Thankfully it was not long before I fell into a deep slumber.

* * *

That morning, after breaking fast and attending mass, Queen Katherine decided that we should go for a walk around the grounds of the castle despite the cold and the snow. The queen, I had found out, often would complain of hot flushes and feeling faint and had started to take walks in the snow to cool her. I looked towards Mary and Anne, expecting at least a little snide comment but was surprised to see they were both in a pleasant mood and respectfully silent. However this did not extend to me. Once we were suitably dressed and made our way down the cold staircases and out into the frozen gardens, I approached them to walk with them only to receive blank stares. However they didn't verbally reject me, so I fell into step with them and awkwardly walked beside them. They seemed oblivious to my lingering presence and continued to talk between each other.

'...But he said the most scandalous things about her! If only her husband knew...'

'...But I thought he did? And if he didn't, he certainly knows now...'

I could only listen as they gossiped, walking on the outskirts. I was not yet privy to their conversations; I was not yet a "Boleyn". I felt hurt and embarrassed by their reluctance (or perhaps stubbornness) to include me but I would ride it out, certain that in time they would find my as lovable as George did. There he was again. It started to seem that George was always on my mind, but I reasoned that it was because I was just married and still infatuated. We walked all the way around the castle and its grounds until we walked besides the river Thames and the palace docks. The face of the murky water was like a dull scratched mirror showing me an imperfect reflection as I peered into its depths. The river reflected to me an impossible scene. There I was, standing out perfectly reflected with Anne and Mary mere ghosts in the background. I looked sallow, tired and old but much more clear than either Anne or Mary. I sighed, it seemed even the river wanted to taunt me with the knowledge I could only outshine them in a reflection. Yet I caught a movement in the water and turned to face the palace. There in the big glass windows of one of the corridors, the king stood. Wolsey and his little servant were at the king's right side speaking with him, irritated by his lack of concern while Charles Brandon and the man who gave me the look yesterday were at his left. But the King stood oblivious, simply gazing out towards the group of walking women. I slowed my pace and cautiously watched the king, my curiosity piqued. There was a tenderness and endearment on his face that faintly masked an almost predatory glint in his dull green eye. Miraculously Anne and Mary remembered about me and slowed their pace and to walk besides me, although I suspect they only did so because they noticed the King's watchful gaze. Anne smiled mischievously and nudged Mary as they gazed up at the king.

'Oh, It seems his majesty is enjoying the view' Anne said innocently and playfully towards Mary. Mary flashed her stern look before bursting into a smile. I could only watch them through disapproving eyes and feel a pang of disgust as I finally understood the king's observations. He desired Mary. How could I not have realised? It was so painfully obvious. Mary was infamous for being seductive and beautiful, why I had asked her to tell me whorish tricks to use on my wedding night! Of course she would inspire such carnal immoral feelings. But from the king? Impossible, he was too wise to fall for such a lowly woman as Mary when he had a beautiful queen as Katherine. I decided quickly to put such a ridiculous idea out of my head. It was a fleeting fancy, nothing more.

'Ladies, I think we shall have a masque and a dance for tonight's dinner.' Katherine said over her shoulder, seemingly rejuvenated by the fresh air. I heard a ripple of excitement, but I didn't feel so joyful. I just wanted to be seated with George and to dance only for him. Yet I forced a smile and walked silently alongside Mary and Anne, Who continued to ignore me and giddily talk about the dance.

* * *

Katherine sat on her chair, clapping her small delicate hands as we danced under our teacher's instructions, impressed by our grace and good nature. The moves were not difficult and were simple and sweet enough that the afternoon seemed to past pleasantly, that is until the queen received a visitor. Henry Percy, one of Wolsey's wards and the Earl of Northumberland's son came into the chamber baring a gift. Katherine smiled brightly, delighted to receive a sudden surprise. In turn, we all turned to face him, still dancing as we did. He addressed Queen Katherine, bowed and briskly marched towards her. As he walked, his foot caught on of Katherine's finely embroided rugs and sent the young man spectacularly tumbling across the room towards the huddle of dancing women. The ladies scattered, parting like the wings of a fleeing bird as he fell towards them. I remember fleeing across the room to catch the gift box before it hit the cold stone floor, clutching it breathlessly to my chest as I watched the chaos. Percy landed, head first At Anne's feet. The ladies gasped, yet Anne knelt down and offered her hand to Percy. Flustered he took it before looking dumbfounded towards her.

'Are you hurt?' She asked gently, holding his hand lightly. Percy merely gazed up in amazement for a moment before nodding and getting up quickly. Anne gave him a small coy smile in response, which surprised me. The witty clever Anne was for once lost for words by the actions of a clumsy fool. Despite his embarrassment, Percy could hardly take his eyes off Anne and likewise with Anne. Even As He walked, carefully, across to take the gift box from me, he looked back at Anne. Everyone else in the room hardly knew what to make of it, it was just so odd.

'Your majesty' Percy said almost apologetically as he knelt before her chair. Katherine gave him an understanding warm smile, inclining her head as a sign that he could open the box. He bowed his head and opened the box, making the queen gasp and clasp her hands together. Inside was a beautiful onyx necklace, a gift from "sir loyal heart". I could have snorted at the king calling himself loyal while making cow eyes at Mary but the gleeful girlish expression on the Queen's face made my cynical comments melt away. The king must love Katherine, this proved it, didn't it? yet I couldn't help but feel a niggling feeling in my gut. The intensity of the king's eyes, that glint in his eye, haunted me. Perhaps Mary would be forgotten about when her beauty was hidden at the masque that night?


	6. The Itch

The niggling feeling, turned into an unbearable itch at the masque. As we jigged and twirled prettily before the banqueting tables, I couldn't drag my pale eyes off the king. He reclined in his chair, his head cocked slightly stroking his tawny beard with his great bejewelled hand as he watched Mary dance, delighted by her quick dainty movements.I felt a pang of disgust and perhaps even jealously that Mary would get such attention, but tried to suppress it as forced myself to look away. I twirled around Anne as the dance instructed and glanced towards George. He sat amongst his merry band of pretty faced friends, yet out shined them all. He looked so handsome with his strong jaw and sweet boyish face, his firm muscular body was draped in scarlet satin all the while his jewels and adornments glistened in the candle light making him glow like an angel. But all this was secondary to the most endearing and breathtaking observation i had about him; He was smiling. He was smiling as he watched the dance, he was smiling at me! I could not help but burst into an enamoured grin. He did love me! he was pleased with me! I pleased him enough for him to take pride in me and smile in front of the whole court! I could hardly breath with the sudden realisation and emotion as I danced prettily besides Anne. He had not ignored me out of spite, he had carelessly forgotten about me and now remembered me, I was certain of it. So certain, I gave Anne a little sideways glance as if to say; He has eyes only for me now. But she was oblivious to me or anyone else in the room it seemed, for she was smiling and looking very diligently towards a certain person before bashfully down-casting her eyes and blushing. I glanced to see if I could identify him but was quickly moved towards the fake fabric Forrest in the centre of the banquet hall, taking my seated position amongst the plucked flowers and the strips of green Velvet masquerading as Grass to take my bow. The king without hesitation, stood up and heartily clapped yelling his praises while the courtiers scrambled to their feet to join in the gesture. All but Queen Katherine stood, She remained seated but politely and dignifying clapped. We bowed again and walked back towards our seats as the musicians began to play again, the rowdy banter resumed and the servants carried away the fabric forest. Without a thought of Anne or Mary, I quickly skipped towards George, standing behind him and his band of jolly fellows. They must have all seen how beautiful and graceful I was, more so then distracted dull Anne or dimwitted Mary. Surely they must include me now as one of them now as I had finally proved myself?

'My lord, husband' I say with such breathless delight and warmth. George turned, surprised -it seems- to be addressed by me. As are his friends who all snicker and quietly comment. I ignore it and continue to smile pleasantly. George offers me a faint smile, before running his hand through his raven hair dishevelling it in an adorable fashion. Norris, Weston and Wyatt look on at us with a sort of naughty anticipation, holding their goblets at their mouths to mask their entertained smirks as we stand in was becoming embarrassingly awkward, I couldn't stand being inspected and made to look the fool before them so I draw attention away from myself. 'Did you enjoy the masque, my lord? His majesty certainly did. Oh and how charming your sister was, did she learn to dance like that in France?' I say sweetly even though I imply that I know something disagreeable is going on. George gives me a look; A warning glance or perhaps he has no idea whats going on and will have to talk to me later. In any case I hold his attention now. Wyatt looks away across the room and comments on how graceful Anne's dancing is and of her french ways while Weston and Norris Concorde, paying neither me nor George any heed. We hold eye contact .George's dark Boleyn eyes are questioning, uncertain of the intent of my comment but also cautious. I, being more tactful and respectful, will not raise the issue here before his friends and instead look away towards one of the windows.  
'It is indeed a beautiful night, care to walk with me around the flower beds, Husband?' I say sweetly, turning to face him with an inviting warm smile. George pauses for a moment, trying to figure out with I am being so warm and so forward, before emptying his goblet of wine and raising to take my hand.I smiled as our hands interwove.

'By Chirst, lady Jane is brave! walking in the gardens with George Boleyn at night. You'll find a prick alright, but it won't be from the royal rose bush!' Weston hollered, setting Norris and Wyatt into a fit of guttral vile laughter. I turned and urged George to walk quicker away from their indecent ridicule. He reluctantly followed, smirking and trying for my sake not to laugh and encourage them.

* * *

After travelling down two long coridors we escaped out into one of the smaller private gardens, surrounded by tall frozen hedgerows. The night air was perfectly still disturbed only by our visable breath. Underfoot, the snow was fresh and glimmered like hundreads of diamonds in the slivery moonlight.I stood perfectly still, dressed only in my "blue bird" costume from the masque; A pale blue sleaveless dress and white feathered headdress with my fair hair held in a sliver bag snood. George, although better dressed then I, dramatically opposed the cold, pacing back and forth before rubbing his hands together.

'Bloody hell it's cold. What is the meaning of this?' He asked breathlessly, still pacing.

'I know my love, it's cold. But this is a private matter, one I don't think should be openly shared before you're 're sister Mary... I think she should be sent away from court.' I say meekily. George was dumbfounded and suddenly still before he stepped towards me.

'How dare you?...What is the meaning of this? have you had some catty disagreement and want her sent away? is that it?' He said evenly, yet i felt myself tremble. I would never want to face his displeasure and at that moment I felt so very close to being subjected to it.

'No!' I cried out, stepping forward to embrace him, but I dare not. Although I couldn't deny that wasn't true, It was not the reason she had to be sent away. 'I think she's encouraging the king to be unfaithful, to commit adultery. You should see how they look at each other! i'm surprised her husband doesn't beat her for it' I mutter, looking down towards the snow that is chilling my thinly covered feet. But then I hear a soft scoft before I feel George place his warm hands on my shoulders. My eyes dart up; disbelieving and filling with hopeful tears.

'Jane, Sweet Jane. Don't trouble yourself with Mary's affairs.' He said looking down at me with the same smouldering dark gaze the king had given his attentions, it seemed he wasn't talking to me but rather at me. This troubled me and made me think of his neglect. Perhaps if I told him then he would take care not to repeat it?

'George, I-' I started before I felt his lips come crashing down on mine. At first I tried to pulled back, stunned by his newfond affection before feeling his secure, tightening grip on my shoulders. I liked the feeling of his strength. His kiss was suffocationing and pressed down hard, so hard that I felt the scrap of his barely visable stubble as I snaked my hands across his back, kissing him with the same intense need and urgency. i was so desperate for his love, his affaction, for him. Roughly, George pushed me unto the frozen ground before decending upon me with clumsy kisses and pushing up my costume and underskirts. My skin tingled under his heavy kisses and wandering hands and the coldness of the snow. My gown was soaked through, clinging to my petite writhing frame. But then he abruptly pulled me up again and dragged me carelessly and dishevilledly back into the palace.

'Bedroom. Now.' He said in a commanding growl.

* * *

I woke up troubled in the dark, My bare skin shivering in the freezing coldness of the night.I wearily sat up, pulling the bedsheets to cover myself but felt that the sheets moved without any obsticle. I quickly pressed my hand down to George's side of the bed but felt nothing but a warm patch in his place. I thought this was odd but before i had time to think, I heard the distant hum of voices; male and female, outside our bedroom door followed by the discreet snap of our chamber door closing. Without hesitation I grabbed George's embroided dressing gown and followed the voices. I would not tolerate another woman meeting my husband, espeacilly at night and espeacilly after we were intimate. I marched hastily out of our bedroom but took care to be silent and close our chamber door as careful as the two predcessors. I walked out into the dark palace Hall way and instantly saw them; A man and a hooded woman holding a candle. They were now silent, quickly walking down the hallways. I followed, but at a distance. Concealed in the shadows. They stopped before the royal apparentments.

'...Won't _darling_ jane stick her beak in and wonder where you are?' The woman said coyly with a hint of laughter. The man laughed, it was only then I released it was George and shivered with shame. I had just given myself to him and now he was onto another and no doubt more. The king's chambers were always ridden with whores like the streets of London were riddled with rats. he cupped the woman's chin, tilting her face upwards forcing her hood down. I gasped.

'Jane is sleeping soundly after the fuck I just gave her, she won't be a probelm. Although she already suspects that You're dealings with the king are more then just looks and smiles, Dear sister.' George said smiling down at Mary. She raised her eyebrow but then smirked, turning towards the king's apartment looked back at George at she opened the door.

'Well, she'll be very right after tonight. Goodnight, George.' Mary said with a haughty little laugh, closing the door behind herself. She was so shameless in her wantoness.

I watched, feeling my spirt and my colour drain. This was a blatant betrayal to good Queen Catherine; a wicked and foul thing to do and George was part of it. Oh God, I was now part of it too. I had betrayed my queen and whored myself and let my King give into temptation at the hand's of my sister-in-law. I was as guilty as any. I felt nausaes with the shame and disgust of it all. I could hardly stand it as I quickly scurried back into bed before George could return. I curled up into a ball, trying to hide from my guilt and the images that invaided my mind. I could see them; grunting and sweating like beasts while Queen Catherine suffered alone, praying for a son. I could have wept for the queen had George not nonchantly rolled into bed besides me. He was not troubled by his sister's shamesless wantoness and sin. Infact it seemed he was encourgaing it and as his wife I suppose I was expected to do the same. But would I? Was my love for George so great that I would betray a Queen?

* * *

_AN: If there is any grammer mistakes or spelling mistakes, I'm sorry. Document uploader is playing up for me. Thanks so much for the reviews though, I really do love your support._


	7. Eve and the Apple

I did not sleep well. I tossed and turned, the heavy burden of guilt making sleep elude me. Quickly I knew that there was no solace for me in sleep so wearily I rose, untangling myself from George's lazy embrace. I could not help but looking down at him as he slept. His boyishly handsome face was contented as he nuzzled the pillow in my place, murmuring slightly to himself as he did so. I stroked his soft cheek with a pang of pity for him. My poor husband, he was an accomplice to his harlot sister Mary and a traitor to good Queen Catherine. I wished I could hate him for what he had done but I could only pity him and want to desperately protect him. He was too trusting and kind hearted for his own good. Surely he was only helping Mary out of sibling loyalty? He was unwillingly betraying the queen to make his sister happy. He was her helpless pawn. I could have cursed Mary or her wantonness and bad influence on my beloved George. Was one king not enough to satisfy her carnal desires? I turned away from him and walked towards the stool by thevwindow, pulling the drapes back to look at the night sky. Perhaps If I could not sleep then the calmness of the sleepy courtyard below our apartments might work to ease myvtroubled mind. So for hours, I silently sat by the window watching the bright stars fade into the first slivery streams of the infant sunlight.

'Jane?'

I looked over my angular shoulder towards the four post bed, my face weary and waxen. George was on his side, propped up by his elbow. His was surprised, and much more alert and animated then one should be for just waking up from a sound sleep. I knew at once why, but was much too tired to address it or to quarrel.

'Good morning, husband. Did you rest soundly? 'I said evenly, watching him closely to see his reaction. At first his face was carefully bland, the perfectly trained courtier's mask, but then I saw a twinkle in his eye; the birth of a lie. He scoffed lightly, running his hand through his ruffled dark hair.

'What man could not rest well in the sweet bosom of his loving wife?' George replied with a sly smile. I felt my anger piqued by his honey coated tart comment but simply smiled and restrained from making a poisonous retort about what a whore his sister was. Perhaps he was being sincere but my past experiences made me assume he was being cruel. In any case He continued the charade of smiles before getting up and getting dressed. My brow farrowed as I watched him. I decided to confront him, hoping that he would be honest with me.

'Where are you going so early, husband? 'I said with concern, anxious at his answer. He dressed himself, not even pausing to consider my question all the while with his back to me. It wasn't until he straightened his ruffled collar that he cleared his throat to respond with;

'My father has requested my presence for some family business, just contemplating acquiring some lands near to Hever. Nothing to concern yourself with, 'He said briskly, as he picked up a cap and admired his reflection in our gilt looking glass. I pouted, disappointed in his answer. I was much too cowardly to tell him that I knew that he was going to retrieve Mary before his father Thomas Boleyn or the court discovered about her shameful conduct. But why could George not tell me so himself? I thought turning towards the window as the sun slowly crept up behind the rooftops of London. I was his beloved, his wife, why should he not tell me everything? I shivered pitifully at such melancholy thoughts. George was grooming himself silently in the background; he then walked towards me and planted a tender kiss on the top of my head before slipping out the room leaving me alone with my thoughts. I bowed my head and wept pitifully from such a small act of genuine kindness, it was the first nice gesture George had made since our courtship years ago.

* * *

I uneasily made my way to the Queen's apartments, wearing a bland gown of dove grey since I wanted as little attention as possible. My skin was frightfully pale and my eyes ringed darkly, in short I looked wretched. I entered the waiting chamber and bowed to the queen. She smiled pleasantly, inclining her head to me before I pulled up a stool and diligently started sewing. From the corner of my eye I could see Anne reclining besides Catherine's throne, restless for some reason. She was adorned with fine jewels and a beautiful periwinkle dress in the French style, writing a poem (in French, naturally) but kept glancing up to inspect me. I knew Anne was annoyed that she wasn't getting attention; it was the same restlessness and irritability she had displayed at my wedding. But I didn't know why. Had Queen Catherine given away a part in a masque that she coveted? or perhaps Queen Catherine had shown her favor to another lady? I could only speculate. What I knew however was that I didn't not like to be subjected to Anne's dark direct gaze. Her eyes had a way of wilting the resolve of anyone they were directed at until the person was humbled to dust. I shuddered pointedly hunching over my needlepoint so that the frame of my hood blocked out Anne.

The door abruptly swung open, startling all the ladies and even making the ever composed Queen Catherine wince in door was pushed further open and indiscreetly Mary stride into the room draped in a gown and hood of gold; making her radiant and all the more bonnie and fair. Although Mary was such a sight, I could not help but turn to face Anne with a smug little smirk planted on my face. Oh how I wished to savior this moment; Anne's face twisted with jealousy and contempt. But when I did look at her I found i was surprised. She was suddenly sitting upright but her face was pinched with confusion not scorn. Then it dawned on me. She knew -for how could anyone not?- that the King was attracted to Mary but she didn't know that Mary had acted on it. Her concern was for where her sister was not why she was not there. I stifled a laugh looking from Anne to my needlepoint. At that moment I felt a sudden giddy euphoric feeling flutter in my breast. It was a wonderful sensation that set all my nerves alight and made me bask in contentment. It was knowledge, that delightful knowledge that I knew something that others did not.

'Your Majesty'

The voice was rustic and commanding but held a firm note of affection, I turned to look up. It was the man who looked out of the window at me and had inspected me when the King first courted Mary. He was petite and slight but dressed in furs and rich garments that made him look bulky and burly, I noted as he bowed low to Queen Catherine. Queen Catherine's face lit up as he entered the room, her smile was sincere and heartfelt as she extended her hand for him to kiss. He looked up, taking her hand and kissing her knuckles with his thin lips. His face was hardened and tough like leather boots but in his youth he would have been a handsome man.

'Your Grace. Will your wife not come to court?' Queen Catherine asked politely. I saw the man's face twitch in disdain but only subtlely, He then glanced over at me catching the guilty expression on my face; He knew I had caught his hesitation. But he turned back to Queen Catherine with a sigh.

'I wish she would, Your Majesty. But she is too Ill to Travel' He said quickly with no desire to discuss his wife. 'But my Daughter Mary will be coming to court to serve you inher place. She is indeed a charming and delightful child' He said with a small respectful bow of his head. Queen Catherine smiled, she was taken with the idea of having another child at court, though I suspected it was since there had been no children since Princess Mary at court.

'But, Your Majesty. I am not here to talk about my wife or my daughter. I'm here to collect my niece; Jane Boleyn. May she be excused?' he asked gesturing in my direction butnever taking his eyes off Queen Catherine. She nodded, looking to me and making a shooing gesture with her hand. I rose briskly and cursetied before stepping towards the man. He thanked Queen Catherine, kissing her hand again before we both bowed and made out way towards the door. Before we left I saw him shoot a look at Mary, who in turn bowed her head as we closed the door behind us.

* * *

We walked in silence, thankfully reaching his grand apartments quickly. I couldn't bare the suspense or the seemingly disapproving silence. upon entering his little sitting room I noticed all the howard livery and knew at once that the man was my famed Howard uncle; Thomas Howard, Duke of Norfolk. I could have slapped myself for not coming to the conclusion sooner, for he had the same long drawn face, dark eyes and horse like nose as Anne and George. He gestured for me to take a seat and then sat across from me, all the while carefully inspecting me trying to think of what to make of me. His small beady eyes crossed over me like I was a horse at the fair, making me shudder in revulsion.

'Your Grace, Why do you wish to see me?-'

'- What do you know about Mary Boleyn' He interjected rapidly like a snake striking. I was taken aback at his directness and uncertain what to say. What was his motivations in asking? to gain information from me? to test my loyalty and discretion?

'I don't know anything' I stammered nervously.

'Don't lie. We all know what is going on.' He said firmly. His tone was so strong and had an under current of a threat, there was no trace of the warmth he had displayed to Queen Catherine or even that he was capable of warmth. I looked directly at him. Unlike George, I would not sacrifice myself for a harlot like if I told Norfolk he would have Mary punished and sent away and then we could all be happy.

'She has committed adultery with His Majesty the king. I saw her being escorted to his chambers last night in nothing but a cloak and night shaft and she was late into the queen's service this morning.' I said clearly and confidently, my gaze unwavering. The Duke got up to gaze out his window, walking past me in doing so. I did not turn. He picked up a bottle of wine and poured himself a glass, the clinking of the glass the only sound piercing the silence.

'Do you see many things, Jane?'

'I see enough' I said stubbornly. I was no fool nor did I want the Duke to think I was a fool or blind. Behind me I heard him scoff lightly at my proud statement before I heardhim pouring another glass and walking over. He stood behind my chair like a shadow before offering me a glass of wine. I took it without hesitation, eyeing him carefully as he took a step to stand by my side. He had a mirthless yet entertained smirk on his face.

'Then I have a proposition for you. How would you like to be my eyes and ears in the Queen's chamber and share everything with me?' He said in a low almost seductive voice. I felt my eyebrow raise at such a prosition. It would make me a Judas and even more unpopular amongst the ladies. But I would have that rush of knowledge again and the approvaland alliance with Norfolk, the third most powerful man in the even George would respect me for such a feat.

'I would be honoured, your grace'I said giving him a sly smile and raising my glass. He rose his glass and tapped it against mine before drinking the wine. I followed suit eagerly draining even the dregs as a sign of our sealed deal. Little did I know that like Eve who did the Snake's bidding for the forbidden fruit of knowledge, that I too wouldbe cast out from Eden for indulging in my lust for knowledge.

For now however, I started my spying in earnest. That night I stood in a doorway, watching the king embrace Mary and pull her into his apartments. Although I knew what I was witnessing was wrong, I couldnt help feeling excited by how lusty and animistic they were and how voyeuristic I was. When I returned to bed, George was not there. But that did not matter, for nothing he could have said or done could have equalled the high I was on. For I had knowledge and therefore power. I was not to be ignored and shunned anymore by the Boleyns and their friends, for I was useful now. I was at last; important.


End file.
